Last post I said that I would (and I guess I got busy or something) take the time to update some people which is quite understandable because I actually was pretty busy.

For the Months of June and July 2009...

• I had mentioned in my last post that I had an agenda for the summer, and at the time, I hadn't really gotten far in getting many of those things done. I started on my Spanish 1 and 2 classes the beginning of June and today I took my final. It all depends on my final whether or not I made an A on Span. 2 or not. I actually have a lot at stake if I don't make an A. I have to bring my GPA a fraction of a point in order to take a class. Eventually I did get my room cleaned, with the help of my amazing and patient boyfriend. He saw how much of a packrat I was that weekend. I think it took us about 4 hours to clean everything!
• The day after I talked to Mike about how I would rather not work and enjoy the summer, I got a job at a day camp. I worked with all different types of kids ranging from ages 3-11. It was a very interesting job. I learned something about it too. I don't want to be an elementary teacher! It was a great summer job; they didn't require much from me, but I wouldn't want to work at something like that all the time.
• As for the little things that I wanted to get done, I did complete my website, but I had to cancel the subscription because I don't have enough money to keep it running. Maybe later...when some people buy my art or something. I had a t-shirt I wanted to turn into a pillow, and I finished that. And I have a quilt that still needs to be completed. I just have to buy batting and find backing material and sew it together!
• You know that annoying mosquito I was talking about? I think it bit me since my last post. I have an addiction and I don't even have a ring on my finger yet. Just the knowledge that I will *knocks on wood*, attracts me to bridal websites. I never thought I would be like this. I don't want an extravagant wedding, but I do like looking at the extravagant stuff. Is that a bad idea?
• I have finished six books this summer, and I'm halfway through two others. In order of completion, I've read The Hobbit (J. R. Tolkien), Captivating (Stasi Eldredge), Redeeming Love (Francine Rivers), The Shack (William Paul Young), For One More Day (Mitch Albom), and A Bend in the Road (Nicholas Sparks). All pretty good books. I got a little bored with The Shack near the end, and For One More Day was a little hard to follow because it jumps from past to present very frequently and it was hard to distinguish between the two sometimes. I'm in the middle of a book that is a compilation of different love stories written by famous or notable men, and the other book is another Nicholas Sparks book called "The Rescue." I haven't gotten very far in that one though. All I know is that a mother and a son are in a car accident, but the son disappears in a swamp while the mother is unconscious in the car. There is a search party but the son has trouble with language even though he's four years old so even if they call his name, he won't answer.
• I am still in search for a job in Marshall/Longview area. I went up there for an interview last Friday and they didn't call me back yesterday like they said they would. So my only assumption is that I didn't get that job. I don't know what I want to do about next semester. I have a car note to pay off and tuition and a Compassion child! I don't like having the stress of finding a new job. I have a lot of prospect unstable jobs, but none that I can rely on knowing how much money I'm going to make at the end of the month. 
• I'm ridiculously ready to be back at ETBU, mainly because I miss seeing my roommates on a daily basis. I just have to survive a couple days I think if things pan out as I hope.
• Mike met my dad and his "friend." It went far better than I expected. I didn't expect anything to go wrong but I still had that sliver of anxiety that something was anyway. We all went to Kemah and had a gay old time...no pun intended.
  

...and on that note! ...I think that's about it I think. My whole summer in a nutshell.

For those of you who feel like they haven't heard or seen me in forever... or just want to know how I'm going to accomplish summarizing the past few months into on little blog:

1. I've learned that jobs that seem to be way too good to be true, are normally just that. It's all a hoax. People who are hiring you are selling a product just as much as you are in the interview. They are hiring because they need someone to work, and you are telling them that you're the best candidate. They are selling their company so you work for them, and you're selling your services and skill.
2. Despite getting finished with school/work after 5 every day, I have been incredibly busy.
3. I've kind of gotten tired of blogging. I'm more into actually jotting words into a journal lately. Thanks Holly!
4. My computer crashed a week before Spring Break...well, my computer didn't stop functioning technically. My hard drive crapped out on me. I bought a new one and now here I am with more memory and better RPM's.
   
5. Mike and I are good. I like this one! He's the complete opposite of a jerk...he tells me what he wants in our relationship...he's honest unless he tells me he's making stuff up but then I know that he's making stuff up anyway...he knows I'm strange and likes it...he likes my family...my family likes him...among other things.
6. Lately, I've been trying to get summer taken care of as far as living and expenses go. Let me know if you know of anything for rent or any people going to be out of town for a summer and need a house sitter (I'm quite an experienced house sitter)! I've also been trying to get all my classes in order. I'm trying to get my Spanish I and II under my belt before Fall so that I can be on track and graduate 2011.
   

Well, that's about the gist. I'm going to sleep now!

Buenas noches!

I feel like every time that I visit this website, I always want to start off with the same sentence. "I have so many things that I've wanted to write on here, and now I'm taking this opportunity to share them with you..." Well, here is another time I want to do the same....but I'm thinking that from now on I'm going to spare you that 30 seconds of straining your eyes from reading the computer screen and just dig in to the good stuff.

I haven't really written since Thanksgiving. So much has happened in this time, which is definitely the reason behind me not writing on this beloved virtual world of my life, but usually hasn't been the only reason for it.

First off, my Fall semester is over with, and I did much better in the majority of my classes than I had planned. It's such a relief that it's over though. There were so many things that happened over that semester that I didn't want to happen, but they did. I'm a stronger and more honest person because of it. I don't regret one piece of it either. I've learned that sometimes, patience is not the only virtue that needs to be practiced. You can be patient with some people to come to certain conclusions by themselves, but sometimes that patience wears thin and things begin to slide on quite a slippery slope. I've learned that honesty must equal out actions just as much as it does words, but not only that, it's important that motives in your actions and words must constantly be questioned. If there is not a valid reason as to why you are doing something, then don't do it. If you question it enough, you will exhaust yourself out of doing it, and sometimes that's a good thing. I've learned that your mental scenario does not always work out as planned. In fact, it barely ever works out as planned. And I'm growing in being more appreciative of the fact that they don't. God probably has a better plan for what happens and what doesn't.

My winter break was quite wonderful. Again, things did not go according to plan in the slightest. I was expecting it to be similar to last break. Where I would go to work, go to lunch, back to work, then dinner, and then back to work again, and finally home only to rest and watch a movie or two and then start all over again in the morning. ...And weekends were much the same as the last of that list. That was far from the truth, and I'm thankful for that. I had a VIP enter into my daily life and I would go hang out in Longview most evenings and weekends. It was very nice, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I also had a much needed visit with Katie in Abilene. Gosh, I sure do miss that girl!

The first week of the Spring semester has come to a finish. I have an idea as to how this semester is going to play out, but I think I say that every semester, and something different always happens. I guess I'm less of a good predictor as I thought I was. ...Anyway...I think that the classes this semester are going to be difficult in the sense that they are going to require a lot of work on my part, but other than that, very enjoyable. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me. I'm planning on leaving the country for the first time in my life over Spring Break this year. I'm in Cross-Cultural Missions this semester and there is a requirement to go on a mission trip. And if I get my passport ready in time, I will be going to the technical college in Monterrery, Mexico to do relational evagelism by being involved in English classes on campus. So stay in prayer that it will work out and that I will be prepared for whatever may come my way. I'm really excited about all of this! I'm also taking 2 math classes, which is quite a bit of a work load, but it's tolerable for the time being.

I've had to learn how to prioritize these past few days. I have to plan accordingly and get things done on time and in time. It's hard having another person interested in your life. I've heard that most of my life, and I'm just now experiencing that. Maybe I'm just ridiculous, but it's such a change to what I'm used to. I'm used to staying up real late doing homework and going to events that I want to go to and putting things that I don't want to do off until the very last minute. I'm trying to stay on top of things so that I will have time for him. It's important to me. ..He's important to me. (This isn't a complaint, it's just a blurb.)

Well, back to priorities. I've got Mathematical Proofs homework, and Calculus 2 homework, and reading to do in Cross-Cultural Missions...and about 20 free minutes

There's a lot to think about when there isn't anything else really to do. I wrote a poem a couple of minutes ago. I'm not brave enough to post it all on here, but I will post a little excerpt. (My only means of internet is my cellular device at this moment in time...it's not very easy to type a blog on here anyway.)

...
I want to smile into your eyes
And look into the future with you
As we walk the streets of dirt
Gracefully touched by toes
Of laboring orphans and weary travelers like ourselves
Only to achieve a purpose together as one
To please a higher authority
And spread the love we share and embrace
Close to the hearts that our Love has given us.

There are times in my life where I feel so incredibly lazy. I have been sitting in the same chair for about 5 hours. There was a point when I got up to get some laundry out of the dryer, but other than that, I've sat here and watched TV this whole time. I have homework that I probably should be doing but I just don't wanna.

I know that I am very guilty of doing this. It's an easier thing to do, but I've tried to end it as much as I possibly can. You know, it's easy to write all these things about people and how you feel about certain things that people do, and while those things might be true, it still bothers me that they are written rather than spoken. I'm trying to get better at this and I am sorry for anyone who has been seared by my words. So basically, my new motto is: if you have a problem with someone or what someone has done, don't write it on your blog, talk to the person that you have a problem with, it's no one else's business and I'm sure you would contest to it if you were the person that did something wrong/annoying that you didn't want your wrongdoings to be posted all over the internet.

...We are probably the most unconnected people in history. We have so many more utilities that are easily accessible to provide much more useful communication and services than ever before, and, yet, we don't have the deep relationships that we need. We don't like to hold long conversations with people because our hours are short and our days are few. We can't even wait long enough for cookies to come out of the oven, much less for all 5 website pages that are opened on our computer at the same time to load. Yes, our time is short on this earth, but I don't think that necessarily means we should cram everything that we possibly can a day or week. I don't assume that's what God intended. It makes me sad when I realize how rushed I am with a lot of things throughout my day.

I haven't really had a conversation with my dad for 3 months. We talked for about 2 minutes on Yahoo Messenger after my accident, but other than that, nothing. I was talking to Holly, and I was trying to figure out who's responsibility it is to call. I'm upset with him, so the only reason that I would feel guilty not talking to him would be because something awful happened to him. I don't know if that's a good enough reason to call and talk to him. Seems kind of deceptive to me. I know I shouldn't call him out of responsibility, but still.

I've realized I am so depressed (...or maybe emotional would be a better term...) and constantly stressed out when I'm here at college. I have been trying to figure out the reason behind this. It's not the town. I was here all summer and was happier than I have been in a very long time. It's not the fact that I'm in college. I was in college in Lufkin and faired well. hmm.

I talked to my grandparents today. Instead of going to NC to visit them for Christmas, I'm going to go for Thanksgiving instead. Grandma told me that they normally go to see Papa's (my granddad) family in Aurora. I'm almost hoping that we go. I feel like I should know a little about my heritage, but I don't. I'd like to explore and experience the side of my family that still feels mysterious and intriguing. I'm excited.